A year and a half ago I left a very volatile relationship, huge ups and very difficult downs. Staying there because I believed that my love for him would heal him and we would eventually live happily ever after. But that was not to happen as I come to realize that my own needs were being pushed into a corner of trying to appease. This appeasing of my partner came about through my own self-sabotaging energies, never fully feeling that I could attain the love I desired and so I settled for 2nd best.
After the universe created such a huge tower moment, meaning that I could never return, I started to see where I had lacked my own self-support, always looking for another to fill this never-ending gap of wanting to be needed, and to be loved.
This want, was my lack, for I soon realized I have always had everything within me to support myself, warts and all. All the insecure parts of me were a reflection of my own upbringing and where I believed in another person's words over my own knowing that I am an amazing person, full of life and love. I realized those I had allowed to tell me I wasn't ever good enough was coming from their own fears and doubts that those that loved as much as I did would be trampled in this world.
So for the last year and a half, I took a hard look at my relationships and my relationship with myself. Seeking within all the places I was giving away my power. I took it all back so that I no longer needed anyone else to tell me that I was enough.
Surprisingly this is now showing up as gift after gift. I no longer need, and so no longer seek approval. Therefore all of my relationships that reflected this fell away and I found new ones forming that loved and supported me unlike I had ever experienced before in my life.
This is what I call the shadow work and I believe the whole of humanity has this chance now to look within and find their lack, to trust those that fell away were never in line with the most loving and powerful parts of you and those that are showing up are.
Happy journey everyone, I am here to finally say that I am a leading example that this inner work is well and truly worth every effort.